My Poison.

Every person has their own poison.

      on June 12 2009 Laura Malissa Hunt was murdered by her boyfriend. 

             My poison, my addiction stripped away from me.

             I am angry because I did not get to even get say goodbye.

             

      It would begin every spring when we would start calling each other. Laughing, teasing, supporting and whining about our respective mates. We were close, closer than most people even dare to be. We had a long and fun friendship. 

     Laura was the one person that I could always call, not matter what time it was or what she was doing, for anything and vice versa. Our worlds stopped for each other. On so many levels, the strength of our friendship and our need for each other was amazing, we were not compatible. No matter how silly or serious, if we needed anything from each other the world stopped for that. 

     Not many people you can call at 4 am because you had a good dream and they understood you were scared out of your mind, make coffee and breakfast and then come over. Laura was one of the few people that understood that if I had a good or sweet dream that it was an omen that something bad was going to happen in real life, I dream in nightmares so violent that they make the most hardcore horror movies look like children's Christmas movies. I have always dreamed in such manner-gives reason why I don't watch horror movies, they put me to sleep.

    Weird huh?

     In 1998 when I needed someone, she was there. She told her boyfriend to drive himself home just so I would have a shoulder to cry on. I cried for three weeks and she was there everyday, never asking for anything. I still wake in tears every morning. Laura helped me to understand that it was okay to do so.

    Now that spring is beginning to dawn, I find myself depressed and mopey. For the first time in 16 years I don't have Laura to call. No Laura to argue with, no Laura to laugh with and no Laura to cry with. No more Laura.

    Sure there are other people in my life, such as my best friend Jay and my other good friend Billy, both of whom knew her well. It's one thing to talk to your guy friends about stuff but it's a whole other to have a female friend that you can be close to, one who knows your dark secrets, one who knows your soul.

   Now I live as a hermit out here in small town America, I don't talk to anybody but my friend Jay (who lives with me right now). I am keeping myself as separated from the physical human world as I can. Might not be fair but it is what I need, I am gonna lose my mind this year when June 12th hits and I know it.

   She was my poison and now I have none. She kept me sane and helped me make sense of the world.

    That is why I have seemed and will seem distant. Forgive me if you know me.